Are you part of the large group of people who have developed notification anxiety, Reader?

Even further to that, there is a new term floating around called "Nomophobia" which describes the anxiety that comes from being without one's phone.

But for one sec, let's go back to the little red dots all over our phone apps.

It's a common thing now that phone users feel the urge to clear their notifications so the red dots disappear.

They constantly check their phones as soon as they ping, and can't put them down until they've cleared all the updates.

Ever felt your belly tighten seeing those little red dots pop up?

Whether it's:

• 56 unread emails
• A new message asking you to confirm your plans
• A comment on your latest post
• Or the dreaded missed call that instantly makes you worry.

How many times do you pick up your phone during the day to check your notifications, Reader? (I invite you to reply to me to let me know😉 no shame here!)

I know I feel digital overwhelm myself if messages and emails build up too much. And if my kids message or call, I pick up my phone with lightning speed cause my first thought is that something is wrong😖

Someone I know once said to me, "I can't have any red dots, I have to keep them clear." Said person is also often uptight and a bit of a control freak.

And that's my exact point here:

**Your Red Dot Anxiety is a symptom**

It’s not just about the notifications.

Here’s what might really be going on underneath:

👉 You're feeling the pressure to be always available
👉 You believe you're not keeping on top of it all
👉 You feel guilty about not replying fast enough
👉 You fear disappointing someone
👉 Your inner voice whispers, “You can't miss out on anything.”

The deeper issue?

A nervous system stuck in a stress loop. A mind conditioned to achieve, please, or perform.

To go even deeper, we need to consider your subconscious patterns presenting in the following ways:

1. People pleasing: Fear of letting others down or being seen as unresponsive.
2. Perfectionism: Belief that you must stay on top of everything to be good enough.
3. Hyper-responsibility: Feeling it’s your job to fix, reply, support, or handle everything (especially for others).
4. Unhealed urgency wiring: Growing up in chaos or being constantly “on alert” can make everything feel urgent, even notifications.
5. Fear of being judged: Anxiety about what people will think if you don’t reply right away.
6. Low self-worth: Belief that your value comes from being productive, helpful, or needed.
7. Control behaviours: Managing the external world to avoid feeling inner chaos.

So what does this all mean?

If you experience Red Dot Anxiety, there is something you need to resolve.

And we should chat about it. The stress hormones flowing around your body will create havoc.

I have two spots available this week, maybe it's time to book you in? (Reply to this email to organise a time.)

In the meantime, try the following strategies to help reduce the angst around your notifications:

🧘‍♀️ Start your day without reaching for your phone. Leave it on 'Do Not Disturb' for 30 minutes.
💌 Set “check-in” times for emails and messages during the day.
🎯 Prioritize your real priorities, not your pings.
💛 Take a pause before replying. If it's not urgent, you can respond later.

If you feel the urge rise within, practice some slow deep breathing to calm your nervous system.

If none of that works, hit reply and I'll share some more tips with you.

I look forward to hearing from you, Reader.

Love, Ali x

PS; Email me to book your counselling session or Reiki healing.

PPS; Get the book.

PPPS; Check out my website for the latest blog posts and freebies.

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